Is It Just an Illusion? Ask A Coach.

Let’s talk about power and control – especially control. Historically a leadership role – a supervisor, manager, director, or an executive, meant that you controlled the situation, the people, the decision-making. With title came power. Working for one of these managers was easy –you just followed directions with no thought involved.  But I think history and experience has also shown that this perceived “power” was fleeting at best and misuse often resulted in revolts, riots, etc.

A favorite book of mine, “The Little Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry provides insight into the perception of power:

Little Prince:  I’d like to see a sunset… Do me a favor your majesty… Command the sun to set.”

The King: “If I commanded a general to fly from one flower to the next like a butterfly, or to write a tragedy, or to turn into a seagull, and if the general did not carry out my command, which of us would be in the wrong, the general or me?”

“You would be,” said the Little Prince quite firmly.

The King: “Exactly. One must command from each what each can perform,” the king went on. “Authority is based first of all upon reason. If you command your subjects to jump in the ocean, there will be a revolution. I am entitled to command obedience because my orders are reasonable.”

As we have learned about what makes leaders effective, what differentiates the poor from the average and the average from the star leaders we know that it is something in them – their confidence in themselves and in others, their self-awareness, empathy and ability to inspire others to great achievements that engages their followers.  But believing in those around us, developing them to their highest potential, encouraging them to empower themselves is risky and so time consuming when you have all the answers and know what needs to be done. Right?

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power. Abraham Lincoln

I was once in an experiential leadership program – one of those weeks in the woods and on water programs. I watched an executive from my company sit paralyzed on the top of a small platform on the top of a 20 foot pole on the side of a hill unable to stand up or make the “leap” to the trapeze that was just out of reach. Each person had climbed up and made the scary leap with a little encouragement but this leader sat for over an hour, afraid to jump but more afraid to admit his fear and repeating to himself  “I’m the leader, I’m the executive. I have to do this.” He so feared appearing “weak” that he could not see that this was about choice and he was frozen liturally and figuratively on top of that pole oblivious to the coaching that his team mates and the consultants were giving him.

 A key responsibility of a leader is knowing their own strengths and limitation and those of the others around us and then using that knowledge from self awareness for the better of the whole and the motivation of the individual.  But admit our weak areas? Be transparent and make ourselves vulnerable? And how do we do that? First this requires us to so some honest self assessment. Secondly it requires us to ask for honest feedback from others and be open to what we are hearing.

 That is the hardest thing of all. It is much harder to judge yourself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself, it’s because you’re truly a wise man. The Little Prince

 Once we can model this behavior, as leaders we can focus on the development of the employees and maybe peers and even the bosses around us by encouraging self assessment and by providing them with specific, actionable, caring feedback – being their coach.

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.” The Little Prince

Here is the quagmire… we are leaders and we feel we should know everything. Not knowing makes us feel less than powerful. We worry what our followers will think or if they will respect us. But doesn’t being transparent, honest in our self assessment and showing our vulnerabilities make us stronger in the eyes of those watching us and garner more of their confidence in us? Does it make us appear weak? At a Press Conference mid-way through his second term, President Bush answered a question about any mistakes he may have made as President with “…nope none that I can think of…”  thinking I suppose that this answer would garner the confidence of the people. I think instead the opinion was that he was in denial or not confident enough to admit that he may have made a mistake or two.  

I would argue that a leader with good self awareness and emotional self control who solicits and uses feedback from others, who uses a coach that gives him/her real feedback will know exactly where and when they shine and where they need to count on the strengths of others. Coaching is one of the most valuable tools we have as leaders whether being coached ourselves or coaching others to their highest potential. Training and development are key ingredients to learning but individual  coaching may be the key ingredient to personal growth. Coaching someone requires commitment, patience, honesty and even love. A good coach will help make his coachess or team members see what they can be rather than what they are or think they are.  As leaders do we have time for this? Or do we have time not to do this?

“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. “It is the time you have spent with your rose that makes your rose so important.” The Little Prince

From my interpretation of literature to business to what successful coaches have to say:

Coaches have to watch for what they don’t want to see and listen to what they don’t want to hear.
-John Madden
What makes a good coach? Complete dedication.
-George Halas
Leadership, like coaching,is fighting for the hearts and souls of men and getting them to believe in you.
-Eddie Robinson

I couldn’t agree more. Just my thoughts. What say you? And as always let’s keep the conversation going!

 

 

 

 

Through the Looking Glass

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. Charles Darwin

Reviewing the research into the field of organizational change there appears to be a preoccupation with trying to understand the culture and context of an organization relative to the external and internal forces that drive it to change. This research dates back to the not too distant past where change was happening rather quickly and organizations had the perspective that while they needed to adapt, they had significant time to do so. Today – organizations and most importantly the leaders at the helms are experiencing unprecedented levels of turbulence in their environments which has forced them to continually transform themselves to grow, just sustain or potentially collapse. We have seen the near collapse of large banks and investment firms and of the US auto manufacturers. It has been argued that as the world changed around them the “Big 3” continued to operate under the rules from the past.

A verse from Lewis Carroll’s “Through the Looking Glass” comes to mind…

‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’

‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.

‘I don’t much care where – ‘ said Alice.

‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.
‘ – so long as I get somewhere,’ Alice added as an explanation.

‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.’

It is an understatement today to say that the future of an organization can no longer be based on the past way of doing things or for leaders – on using the same leadership approaches, skills or competencies that may have worked in the past. Leaders who simply trust their past experiences and base decisions and actions on what they are comfortable or familiar with, may unavoidably fail their organizations and their people. As Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central says:  “I’m not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts or situations are.”

So as our organizations are forced to evolve and adapt, we as leaders must acquire new skills and competencies to ensure competitiveness and survival in a changing environment. But don’t we as leaders often think that it is the “others” who need the training. We think our peers, our employees even our bosses are the ones who need development and continual learning. Looking at ourselves and seeing ourselves as others see us with all our strengths and gaps – this is risky, takes courage, time and commitment. Asking for feedback with genuine desire to identify ways to improve is one of the competencies of self awareness that great leaders exhibit. How do we get feedback? Are we willing to do a 360 feedback process to understand the perspectives of others of our leadership ability? I find myself feeling both anxious and excited about reading the feedback from the circle of those around me.  But it is definitely enlightening.

What is the risk of not asking for feedback? Of not changing and growing as the organization and the environment requires of us? Some may argue that things always come full circle and if I just wait long enough my style of managing others will come back into play. I would point out that in this global environment with multi cultural work forces and customers, with technology driving the way we communicate and changing almost daily, that the old way may never circle back around. In a story in Sports Illustrated they commented on the process in the NFL  to build a team for the future based on using stats for players from their past performance and used a recent draft as an example. In the NFC North region there were 30 players taken by four teams including the Detroit Lions, Vikings, Bears and Packers. Three years later, of the 30 who were picked based on past performance, only three remained on the active rosters of the team that picked them. I, as a leader, want to be ready to lead and manage in a most self aware, self confident, way to guide the organization moving forward not looking back. Ongoing leadership development for ourselves and for the leaders in our organizations I believe is critical to meeting the future head-on. A focus on emotional and social intelligence to manage the key relationships and on leading through change and transformation are critical leadership competencies no matter what type of organization you are leading.

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” Tao Te Ching

So let’s hear… what say you on the subject?

As always, Let’s Keep the Conversation Going….

Best regards,

Sandi