Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. Leo Tolstoy
Let’s talk about transitions! I always felt and sometimes bragged that I relished change – the excitement of something new. So recently my personal change meter has been tested with a new marriage after a quite a few years of being independent and single, selling my home that I have owned and raised a family in for 20+ years, a new grand baby and now a shifting role in my relationship with my parents from daughter to part- time caretaker due to my dad’s diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. And then there are the friends and staff dealing with challenges of their own that test my empathy and flexibility competencies in managing my work operations. And of course there is the every changing business and trying economic environment that also test my ability to flex and adapt.
So who’s bragging now?
“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.”— James Belasco and Ralph Stayer.
Flight of the Buffalo (1994)
The respected leaders in our lives understand that the role they play in initiating necessary change or in managing change that is thrust upon them and their followers is to show empathy for the fear, paint the picture of new horizon and inspire others to want to be in that new picture. Do all of this while managing their own fears and apprehensions about the new way of being. I think about the uncontrollable changes in the world like the earthquake in Haiti. How will the leadership there balance their fear and frustrations with the need for them to inspire and paint a new vision of hope?
“There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things.” Machiavelli.
The Prince (1532)
So here’s the quagmire… as a leader do you show your weaknesses to be transparent or do you try and pretend like you don’t know something about yourself what everyone else around you does?
I know I am being tested and will need to draw on my strengths in competencies that I know I have to overcome some of those gaps in the competencies I am missing. Doing self assessment regularly and including the assessments and feedback of those around me gives me an ongoing picture of how others perceive me and how I impact them. An accurate self assessment is critical to understanding your competency and skill strengths and weaknesses and star leaders do this continuously. This assessment stuff is hard for me…finding out and admitting I may not be strong in all areas of leadership but something I will keep working at.
“There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I have found in traveling in a stagecoach, that it often a comfort to shift one’s position and be bruised in a new place.” — Washington Irving. Tales of a Traveler (1824)
What do you think?
As always let’s keep the conversation going!
Great discussion. Change is something I have to manage on a daily basis with the groups I manage. I plan to share this discussion with my leaders in hopes that it helps them manage their teams because everyone knows when you work in a call center, CHANGE is a daily part of life.
You may find this article helpful. Leading change requires and entirely different leadership style from those who are in charge of the status quo.
Yes, this is a time of transitions all right! Not only the pace and frequency of change seems to have increased, but the intensity and impact seems to be exponentially greater, as well. I know it feels that way to me and I can only imagine what it feels like for some of my colleagues and the staff. With two kids in their first year of colleage (boy/girl twins!) and another daughter a junior in high school, a wife that is facing a major decision about early retirement from teaching in the public school system (state budget cuts!) many years before either one of us are even close to contemplating such a move, and the unknown impact that health care reform will have in my work environment (large teaching hospital!), it is easy to become overwhelmed.
Everything I know and have experienced regarding strong leadership tells me that open communication, empathy, honesty and transparency are absolutely essential. Staff know when their leaders are being real or disingenuous. How many times have you heard someone say, He’s really down to earth.” when referring to their boss? Staff know when they are being talked down to, only being given particial information, deceived, or worse, lied to.
I am not suggesting that any of this is easy or that most of us are comfortable managing change, but it is never “wrong” to display that you are human and subject to the same emotions and fears that your staff are feeling. It is our humanity, benevolence, kindness, and mercy that sustains us during times of great uncertainty and stress (witness the relief efforts in Haiti). To be devoid of such feelings serves no one and true leadership is all about serving others.
As for the leadership quagmire, it is only a quagmire if one wishes to avoid a precarious display human emotions and frailties. Only by discovering and knowing our own strenghts and weaknesses can we, as leaders, help others to see their strengths. By offering perspective and helping staff assess their competencies and transferable skills, leaders can assist staff in transition, help them see viable options and offer hope in uncertain times.
I hope we all have such leaders supporting us!
I have always been intrigued by the use of the word “weaknesses” and the negative connotation it has for many. I like to use the term ‘developmental opportunities’ instead. I guess for me weakness indicates something I have seriously tried working at and still come up short – no matter how hard I have tried. I found it interesting in your quagmire that you identified and my subsequent read of it – that being emotionally vulnerable [and not trying to hide it] to life’s changes is identified as a weakness. For me that promotes and encourages a continued attitude of denying and invalidating one’s feelings as though it would detract from one’s ability to lead. This way of thinking reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from a graduation speech that I heard a few years earlier stating that “we have learned much about history – but we have not learned from it”.
Daniel Goleman has spent a good portion of his career trying to help us understand the true worth in learning to value one’s emotions i.e. learning about…but yet what have we learned from it? – if we continue to bring into question and possibly devalue our emotional responses and subtract them from the leadership equation as though they were a liability.
I like to demonstrate by way of an example of how not expressing emotions is truly the sign of weakness and not strength as many have been led to believe. I hold two balloons up side by side – one filled to the bursting point with water and the other empty. I ask who thinks that crying or expressing any emotional response is a sign of weakness? The result is that many raise their hands in agreement. I then produce a push pin and state that the needle represents the sharp experiences/changes that we will all experience in life. I then inquire as to which of the two balloons is best prepared to handle the change? The one that is best able to handle, express and share their emotions is the stronger one.
I think that being open to one’s own emotions and comfortable sharing with others in a leadership role demonstrates a sign of strength that many are not accustomed to and can greatly benefit from if given the opportunity to observe and/or share. Promoting otherwise sets a clear path of expectations and can result in a lesser degree of people wanting to follow along.
Change is the only constant – I’ve read this, taught this, preached it – and still find change, especially that which I haven’t initiated – very difficult. I love the quotes that you’ve chosen for the blog – great reminders.
On whether or not to show the cracks as a leader, I have done both – been transparent and been stoic. Either is right given the situation, the people involved, and the time within which the changes need to be made. The one best method to managing and helping others to manage is clear, two-way communication.